Famous HL Mencken Quotations

   The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace in a continual state of alarm (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing them with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
   1
   The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
   2
   Imagine the Creator as a stand up commedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.
   3
   We must respect the other fellow's religion,but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
   4
   It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
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   Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
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   JUDGE, n A law student who marks his own papers.
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   A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
   8
   Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
   9
   A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
   10
   A home is not a mere transient shelter its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.
   11
   All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
   12
   All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.
   13
   All zoos actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.
   14
   A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.
   15
   An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
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   Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
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   Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
   18
   Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
   19
   I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
   20
   I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.
   21
   Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
   22
   Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
   23
   For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.
   24
   In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.
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