Relationships


Peter Harris asked:


Have you ever done something wrong and thought that if you just apologize everything would be alright?  Your problems would go away and everyone would be happy.  You would come out smelling like roses because you took the high road and offered an apology.  If it were only that simple!  How to say sorry seems simple enough to do but its meaning can often be misinterpreted.

How many times have you apologized for something that you may or may not have done just to have the apology blow up in your face?  You think you are going to make everything alright but your apology leads to more fighting.  If this hasn’t happened to you I bet you know someone that it has happened too. 

So why doesn’t an apology always make things right?  How can an apology make matters worse?  There are several reasons as to why this happens and why an apology can backfire and have the exact opposite effect than it is supposed to have. 

One reason how to say sorry can backfire is because we use an apology as an admission of wrongdoing.  We admit we were wrong but then we typically offer excuses and justifications for our behaviours.  This usually leads to more arguing. You can change this by changing your mindset of what the purpose of an apology should be.  Now the purpose of the apology should be to “accept responsiblity for the rift in the relationship.”

Another reason that apologies backfire is simply because we say the wrong things at the wrong times.  What words we say can make the difference between having the apology lead to a productive discussion that can lead to resolving whatever problems you are having vs. an apology that leads to further argument.  The most common mistake that we make saying I’m sorry is placing too much emphasis on who’s right and who’s wrong.

How to say sorry effectively requires you to be in the right frame of mind before attempting to deliver the apology. You should never lead your apology with “I know how you feel…”  This type of statement can be offensive to the other person, only making them angrier. Your apology should be centered around acknowledging how the other person feels. This requires some thought and should not be taken lightly. 

Before saying I’m sorry you need to be prepared regarding how you will handle the “why” question.  When something goes wrong in a relationship the question of “why” always comes up.  Why did you do this or why did you do that?  This needs to be handled delicately and with sensitivity or the apology can easily go sour only to make matters worse.

Another aspect of how to say sorry that needs to be incorporated into the apology is to let your partner know how the situation has affected you as well. In doing so you must be careful not to place blame on your partner or be accusatory.  You are still accepting responsibility for the problem but at the same time expressing how the problem has affected you.

Finally - in learning how to say sorry more effectively we have to learn how to apologize without defense. This simply means that we apologize without expecting anything in return.  You offer an apology but realize that the other person may not accept it.  It would be great it they forgive you - but they may not.

 



Erick Christopher asked:


Things to say to get my ex girlfriend back is what most guys are looking for. Some of you may think that there are magic words to say to an ex girlfriend that you still like in order to get them back. Let me tell you something, I have been writing about relationships over and over again for a long time now. There are no magic words to say to your ex girlfriend. What you need to say to her in order to win her back is not as important as your actions. Ok here are the “things to say to get my ex girlfriend back” and the things not to say to her.

How to get an ex girlfriend back means that you should watch your mouth until she is not your ex anymore. The first warning that many experts give people in your situation is that you must never confess your undying love to your ex girlfriend. This is how it works whether you accept it or not. Now don’t misunderstand me, She is your ex and you probably love her. You don’t want to confess your undying feelings towards her. Don’t say to her that you love her so much. In stead wait for the right time to say this words. Right now you should be focused on attracting her back, Showing her that you are a normal person and not appearing desperate. You see what I am saying?

In stead of talking to her and trying to tell her things that you think she may want to hear..or things that you think will change her mind and convince her to come back, Relax and let your actions speak than your mouth. Change some things about yourself so that she can see how a better person you are for her. If there are things that she used to complain about you, Make some changes about whatever she used to complain about. This works better than promising her that you will change. You see my point? Now I have given you these two warnings, Lets look into what you can say to her in order to attract her back.

How to get an ex girlfriend back means that you should have some sense of humor going on between the two of you. An ex girlfriend will find you a magnet if you make her lough and smile. Be funny, Be confident and and make her lough and she can fall for you again. If you remember any moments on the past that you had fun together, Zoom in into that and make her enjoy the conversation. She may finally see what kind of men she is missing.

Things to say to get my ex girlfriend back is what most guys screw up. In stead of always telling her stuff that bring arguments between the two of you, Just be kind to her and she will appreciate that. You want to tell her things that make her feel that you care and at the same time not appearing desperate to her.

How to get an ex girlfriend back has a lot to do with your actions, Your general impressions than what comes out of your mouth. Tell her positive things and always expect the unexpected. You are dealing with an ex girlfriend here so she may not always welcome anything you do or say to her. As a general rule, Avoid making her not want to talk to you again by being kind and showing her that you care. These are the things to say to get your ex girlfriend back and I recommend that you always tell her positive things.



Michael Lee asked:


sweet things to say to your girlfriend, sweet saying, sweet and romantic linesThe usual sweet things to say to your girlfriend just don’t have that oomph anymore.

Nowadays, the simple “I love you” is not enough to show how much you really care for the person you love. These are already mere words that are continuously abused by so many.

Guys can be quite good at sweet talk, but the typical sweet things to say to your girlfriend would result in more “successes” if they come with some embellishment (and sincerity, of course).

On the other hand, girls are quite reserved when talking about the likes of “I love you.” For most, “I love you” are sacred words that are only meant to be uttered to the person who really deserve them.

This is quite a challenge for men. You need to think of new things or new words to say that would make the women fall madly, deeply in love with you. But you need not spend much just to make the woman of your interest notice you.

Below are some sweet things to say to your girlfriend that might come in handy. They might sound a little old hat; but why not give it a try? You have nothing to lose, anyway.

1) “You look really beautiful.”

Try to appreciate your girlfriend’s appearance. Women really love it when they are being praised by their boyfriends. They do a lot of things to make themselves attractive to their man. Unfortunately, some men disregard this effort made by women.

2) “You are my life. Losing you would mean the end of me.”

This shows that she’s the most important person in your life and losing her would mean losing everything.

Women like to know how important she is in your life than football and your friends. This is probably one of the strongest in the list of sweet things to say to your girlfriend.

3) “You are my answered prayer.”

It’s always Nice to know that someone has been longing and praying for you. Girls like to hear that you included prayers and God in your words.

This shows that you are serious with her because you are already putting God as your witness. And if you don’t really mean it, it would be just blasphemous of you to do so.

4) “I would rather be the one hurt than you.”

This is certainly one of the nicest things to say to anyone. You must show to her that you are willing to give up anything and everything, even carry the burden just to ease her pain. This is quite heroic; but it actually works!

These are just some of the sweet things to say to your girlfriend and touch her heart even deeper. Think about them and see when and where you can apply them to your relationship. These would definitely help keep the fire burning between you and your girlfriend.

You may be surprised to know that even though women tend to be more sophisticated these days, simplicity is still the key to making her happy. You have to learn how to listen and respond by saying the right sweet things to say to your girlfriend. Some of the most common lines that will work for several years include “You look beautiful”, “Thank you” and “I care”.



Michael Lee asked:


People have been saying “I love you” to their loved ones countless times that the whole concept has become a little boring. However, with these unique ways to say I love you to your special someone, you’ll be able to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.

1) Say it in a different language.

One of the unique ways to say I love you is by using another language. Try something that’s not so common.

You might want to say “Te amo” and then smile mysteriously when she asks you what it means. In Chinese, you can say “Wo ai ni.” In German, you might want to try “Ich Liebe Diche.” Of course, you should do your research and find out exactly how these words are to be pronounced.

2) Say it out of the blue.

There are moments when saying I love you is expected. Are you two enjoying a romantic boat ride together? Naturally, you’re supposed to say I love you some time during the experience.

However, it would also be wonderful to say it out of the blue. For example, is your partner washing the dishes? Or is he or she driving the car? Saying I love you out of the blue makes a person’s reaction more genuine and heartfelt.

3) Shout it out loud.

One of the most expressive and unique ways to say I love you is by shouting it out loud, and telling it to the world. If you’re the adventurous and bold type, this should be easy for you.

You can call attention to everyone around you and shout your loved one’s name, followed by a very passionate “I love you” to him or her. Or you can stay on top of a building and proclaim your affections for the whole city to hear.

There are many unique ways to say I love you. Don’t stick with the stereotype and look for ways to make your relationship exciting.



Rod Cortez asked:


s amounts of men around the globe want to know how to talk to women. They want to know what to say, how to say it, and when to say it. Most men that I meet in daily life want to be spoon fed pick up lines or want to know exactly what to say to women. But a vast majority of men want to know how to get the ball rolling. They want to learn how to break the ice and how to build comfort so that the conversation flows naturally.

Put another way, most guys want to know how to handle the first 30 seconds of any conversation. The number one rule in learning how to talk to women is follow the principle of mastery: that is you have to practice and practice and practice. Simply put, you have to talk to women. In order to do that you need to learn how to break the ice. There are many schools of thought on how to do this. In fact, I’ve seen people develop flow charts and come up with some very esoteric theories on why their way is the best. I usually grin at those because you’ll never hear me say mine are the best because the “best” does not exist.

Human beings and their social interactions contain so many variables that no one can ever come up with a paint-by-numbers system that is the “best” and that would apply to everyone. It just doesn’t exist. The second thing you want to learn is how to break the ice. This past weekend I approached over 3 dozen women at one of the local beach piers by simply saying “hey, you have a unique look, I knew I had to come over and talk to you and see what you were like.”

I had one really cute brunette try and test me by replying with “oh yeah, what’s so unique about me?”. I deflected it by saying it “that’s for me to know and for you to find it”. I paused for a couple of seconds then I let out a alow grin. She knew I was playing around and she followed suit. Remember, when talking to women it’s not so much what you say, but in how you say it. In other words, mindset has a lot to do with it. As an example, if you had a younger sister, would you have any inhibitions in walking up to her and having a conversation with her? Of course not! Why? Because she’s your bratty little cousin right? That’s what your mind perceives, yet when you see a hot girl your perception changes. In reality, it should not change.

Some pick up artists will walk up to girl and tap her on her shoulder, arm, or even wrist or hand to get their attention. Hey, whatever works. And you will definitely find out what works by going out into the field and testing this out. During the first 30 seconds in most general approaches you want to get the woman’s attention. A simple “hi” or “hey, what’s up?” will work wonders. See, it does not have to fit into some kind of complicated chart or graph? Then you can you ask them what they are up to or where they are going or why they have that “look” on their face. When they ask “what look?” you can simply reply with “the look that says I’m bored out of my mind and I’m about to meet a really exciting person!”

You would be amazed at how women respond to things like this when you are genuine and friendly. Not to be confused with being overly Nice or by acting in any way, shape or form, that puts her on a pedestal. You should always act like you are her equal in every way. So during you first 30 seconds, simply say “hi” or “what’s up?”then ask her what she is up to. You will be amazed at how much women will open up if you give them half the chance. Now go forth and make at least one approach a day for a week, then bump it up to two, and continue increasing it until you no longer have the fear of walking up to a stranger.



Francis Githinji asked:


Love Sayings are very vital and, they help capture the heart and emotion of love. Love is a feeling that will continue to be explored as long as people have life. The sayings are also referred to as love Quotes and Quotations. The are love sayings that you will find very interesting. The following are what love sayings do for people who read and hear them. First, they will entertain you and, make sure that you have had lots of fun. The other thing you will benefit from is the variety of views. Views of love are very vital and you will be surprised at the feelings of different people in this regard. They can also be a source of learning and making it a great learning experience. The sayings can also be the source of great fun and humor. You can also come up with your very own sayings from your experience and perception of love. It is this variety that ensures people see all the perspectives or sides of love. The sayings are not just for romantic love but, there are sayings for the other kinds of love.

For example, love between friends, parents and children, and others. The following are some examples of saying that I found very interesting. It will begin with a very comical and radical saying of how to treat your enemies and it goes like this ‘love your enemies, it really pisses them off’. Whether this is true or not, you just have to find out for yourself. I also came across another saying that I thought was really sweet and simple. ‘Love makes everything lovely’. There is no statement that can be truer. In the bible, there is a saying about love that is also as deep and, it is ‘love covers a multitude of sins’. Because of love, people are able to forget the wrongs and focus on building true relationships. I think the saying from the bible is one that is most inspiring of all. You can find more sayings in literature like books, magazines and the Internet. You can go through hundreds of sayings available and maybe choose one that will be a philosophy for you. Other sayings are as follows. ‘Let love be your greatest aim’. This is a very good one and it will help you strive to that height of love. Remember, according to many who have been in love, it is the greatest thing to have and it surpasses wealth and other material things that you will find.

True love is hard to come by but, it its possible and worth waiting for. Sometimes, there are people who do not identify love when they have it. Reading more sayings will help you discover some of the characteristics and features of love, so that you can be in a position to find real joy in life. Different cultures will have different sayings for love and, it is upon you to figure out want kind of love you want in your life. Be open minded and let the sayings continue to inspire you as you explore love.



Francis Githinji asked:


As you might have noticed, there are some people who find it very hard to say “i love you”. Most of these people are keen to say it when they mean it. Way back when i began dating my now long-term lover, he would leave a message on the voice mail which would always end with “have a Nice day.” He would murmur words that suggested that he wanted to say the three little words but he would stop. He was subconsciously dying to say the words but for some reason he could not utter them even after six months of dating exclusively. I found this behavior disturbing since it was outside my dating norm.

The last lover i had before him had said the words after only three and half weeks of dating. He would say “i love you” after every second. I would say “we need to prepare lunch” and he would respond “i love you”. Despite his frequent declarations, my ex-boyfriend did not communicate love through his Behavior. His words became void and i had to leave him. Since that experience i learnt that the most important thing about the words “i love you” is that the actions ought to be in sync with the three little words. Otherwise they become null and void with time. My current boyfriend expresses his love through every single action. I would write a novel about his loving and caring acts but despite all these “i love you” still remained a tongue twister to him for a long time but when he finally said it had so much meaning to me.

My advice is once you start dating someone new do not be in a hurry to say “i love you” because you can’t take the words back. Say them when you mean them. It is also good to recognize that some people take longer than others to blurt out the words. Generally men take longer to get ready for romantic relationships the same way women take much time to get ready for a party. My tip is that, after you have finally confessed your love for your lover, continue to share out the habits and the traits that you love. If you only focus on this generic phrase, you will certainly squeeze out all the flavor in it.

May be you are too eager to say “i love you” but unfortunately you cannot hear the same from your partner. I want to assure you that it is not because of lack of love but it might be out of fear. The wisest thing to do is to talk to your partner about what these words means to him/her. It is a golden chance to talk about your long-term desires, your fears and your personal beliefs. Another tip concerning these words is, do not say them at a time when your emotions are so intense. If you say them during sex, it could be a temporary wave of passion. During a fight do not dare say the words since you will be using them to gain control. Wait for a neutral setting to feel the impact words.